I have never been a peak physical specimen. There have been times when I looked positively gaunt (apparently my metabolism in high school didn't get the memo about me being only one person and decided instead to work for four). There have been times when I looked, well, the opposite of positively gaunt (thanks beer and late night runs to Cook-Out). I'm somewhere in the middle now, and while I look better than the day I asked my fiance to marry me, I'd still like to not test the tensile strength of my belt on my wedding day. So because of this, I've undertaken some healthier decisions for the new year.
One of these is to exercise more, which has been a struggle for me in the past. I've had an a problem going to a gym even when I was at my fittest. Now, my complex is even worse. To paraphrase Patton Oswalt, I look like an anthropomorphic pot of noodles when I run on a treadmill.
I've tried going to a gym several times, and actually had a membership for a while. I realized that I was in trouble when I went to sign up. I was asked by the incredibly fit/cut/chiseled meat-head trainer what my fitness goals were. "Be able to fight Ivan Drago" or "Cut weight so I can wrestle Shute" were options that I considered. The real goal, however, was not to get sweaty when I went up a flight of stairs...
The membership fee turned into nothing more than a "fat tax" because I stopped going.
But this is a year of change, and now I really do have a worthwhile goal, which is to look good for my wedding (although fighting Ivan would still be a worthy endeavor). And to this, I enlisted Bill Deitrick to show me some Olympic style lifts.
We started off with the basics. Some of these I had actually attempted before, but I had not had the proper techniques shown to me. Some of them I had seen and thought "Nope, not for me, I will rip out my insides if I try that." Luckily, that didn't happen.
The Squat focuses on strengthening the core and the lower body. You start with your feet outside of your shoulders. They should be turned out, and your knees should be out as well. You should have a flat back throughout the exercise. The weight should be in your legs and your heels as you move through the exercise.
The Deadlift is the most basic and easiest in terms of motion. It is also generally the one that will use the most weight. You start with your feet shoulder width apart. You should have a flat back throughout the exercise. Keep the bar guided along your shins and knees as you pull it up to your thighs. Move straight up, instead of swinging your arms out to get the bar up.
The Snatch is first of the Olympic lifts that I attempted. I had seen this done during the games, and WOW was I certain that I would end up either with a nose bleed or peeing myself (which I believe are the only two outcomes in this particular Olympic event). You start with your feet under your shoulders in a jump stance. As with the others, have a flat black throughout the exercise. You bring the bar up close to you, get your elbows high, and in one fluid motion drop down under the bar and lock your arms. Then you stand up.
The Clean and Jerk is last lift that I attempted, and it was the one that gave me the most trouble. You start with your feet under your shoulders in a jump stance, and you have a flat black throughout the exercise. You bring the bar up close to you, get your elbows high, and bring the bar up to chest level. Snap your wrists over, so the bar is resting on the top of your chest and arms. Reset, then explode upwards and drop down under the bar and lock your arms. Then you stand up. It is basically a Snatch broken up into two parts.
Am I ready to be on Hanz and Franz, and am I ready to pump...*clap*...you up? No. A resounding no.
However, this lesson did get me excited about exercising again. I'd been leery of those big racks at the end of the gym, mostly because it was filled with people with arms bigger than my legs. But now I have the confidence to step up and try. I've got a little more than three months to get where I want to be, so there's no time like the present.
Other things I learned/looked up:
1) The laws of North Carolina are incredibly inadequate when it comes to dogs. Even in this record breaking cold snap that we have all been experiencing, North Carolina allows dog owners to keep their dogs outside as long as they have a "dog-house," which does not have to be insulated. (Learned from a frustrating call to the Guilford County Animal Control about the dog next door that has been outside for the past few days).
No comments:
Post a Comment